The Hydeout

If God had texted the 10 Commandments to Moses, here's what He might have sent:

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl:

no1 b4 me. srsly.
dnt wrshp pix/idols
no omg's
no wrk on wkend (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
pos ok - ur m&d r cool
dnt kill ppl
;-X only w/m8
dnt steal
dnt lie re:bf
dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.
For those of you not familiar with texting shortcuts, here's the translation:

Moses, please write this on tablets and give it to the people:

No one before me. Seriously.
Don't worship pictures or idols
No Oh My G*D's (taking Lord's name in vain)
No working on the weekend -- Saturday for now, Sunday later. (Keep Sabbath day holy -- Sabbath is Saturday for now, Sunday later.)
Parents Over Shoulder okay. Your Mom and Dad are cool. (Honor thy father and thy mother)
Don't kill people.
Sex only with spouse.
Don't steal.
Don't lie regarding best friend. (don't bear false witness against neighbor)
Don't ogle your best friend's spouse or possessions. Mind Your Own Business. (Don't covet)
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